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Manners That Matter Class Curriculum

Topics of Dining Etiquette


1. Defining:

What is a Dining Experience vs. Eating a Meal?

Where can a Dining Experience take place?

(Depends on differences of intimate & large party)

· Restaurants

· Venues

· Private Residence

· Indoor and Outdoor

2. Preparing for a Dining Experience

A. When you are invited: RSVP

· The Phone Call

· The Text

· The E-Vite (email, link, or social media)

· The Mail In

B. When you are the lead: The Reservation

· How many in group

· Special needs of those in group (wheelchair, high chairs, child appropriate, allergies)

· Special Celebrations (anniversary, birthdays, honoring)

· The Phone Call vs. the Electronic Booking

C. Transportation Planning

· Parking (use of meters, blocking others in at residence)

· Valet (How to, importance of TIP)

· Time Management – planning in traffic time, getting ready time, the to-and-from other locations that day

D. Attire Planning

· Indoor vs. Outdoor shoes

· Weather awareness for outfit type, hair, and makeup

· Appropriateness for Hawaii casual, business, and formal

3. Arrival at Dining Location: Checking In & Greeting

A. At a Restaurant or Public Venue

· How to Talk to the Hostess

· Awaiting a Lead

· Being Sat (chair pull out, respect of eldest first, silencing phone)

B. At a Private Residence or Private Party

· Shoes (Hawaii style vs. elsewhere)

· Checking in with Guest Log and Signing

· Greeting New Faces (Hawaii style of hug, kiss on cheek, vs. the handshake)

· Finding Host/Person who invited you (being sure they know you came, compliments, thank yous, small talk)

· Seating Arrangements (name plates, head of table, left handed vs. right handed)

C. Gifts

· When invited for a celebration or honoring (leis, birthdays, cash)

· When invited to a home for dining (appetizer, dessert, flowers for host)

· Where to put gifts and leave traceability (for thank you card)

4. How to Socialize (To practice with each other in workshop)

A. Why is Socializing Important?

B. Introductions

· Icebreakers

· Questions to get things going

C. How to steer conversations to the positive (redirecting)

D. Excusing self (when, why, and how)

E. Word Usage


5. Beginning Your Meal: At the Table

A. Clean Hygiene

· Hand washing

· Dirt Free Nails

· Fresh Breath

· Checking Teeth

· Body Odor

B. Awaiting Service

· What your server will bring (bread, water, menus)

· How to order drinks (Tea, Coffee, Juice)

· How to order food (Appetizer, Main, Desert)

C. Self-Service (for buffet, luau, or potluck)

· Being Called by Table in formal setting

· Respect of Eldest First (and then to the mothers with young children, etc.…)

6. Table Manners

A. Use of Utensils and Setting

(With printed handout drawing/sketch)

1) Napkin – what for and how to

2) Fork – regular eating vs. use with knife

3) Knife – cutting meats, use for vegetables, steak knife vs. dinner

4) Spoon – soup, sauce, and tea spoons, the way to scoop soup

5) Plate – appetizer plate, main plate

6) Bread or Pastry Plate (for tea)

7) Water Cup

8) Alternative Drink – Juice, Coffee, or TEA***

· Using each set for each course

· New set to be used for next course

· How to show with utensils and body language that you are finished with each course

B. Appropriate Eating Actions

· When to begin eating (awaiting direction, finishing a blessing, cues from the host/head of table)

· How to butter bread

· Small bites of food

· Covering of mouth, Mouth closed while eating

· Sipping water and drinks instead of slurping

· Awaiting Tea Infusing and the Use of Cream and Sugar***

· Addressing Coughing, Burping, Sneeze at table

· Excusing self and reasons why

· Pace of eating in relation to others at table

· Asking for items to be passed to you from others

· Asking for items from the server

· Elbows and hand placements

· Use of Technology at Table (selfies, texts, sounds, posting)

· Not liking the food (what not to do)

C. Appropriate Speech and Conversation

· Common things for whole table (whether, current events, food)

· Complimenting (outfits, hair, new job, a sport, a post you liked)

· Stay away from stressful topics (negative gossip like breakups, hard times, or political controversies that cause taking sides)

7. Ending the Dining Experience

A. In Intimate Setting at a Private Residence – possible need to help clean up

B. In Restaurant Setting – Paying the bill (TIPPING)

C. When to leave (not leaving too soon, not overstaying in a busy restaurant after already paying bill)

D. Saying Goodbye and Thank You

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